Welcome to the "Hafod Humour" page of the Hafodyrynys Website.Please send any favourite jokes you have and any photographs with a humorous content to info@hafodyrynys.co.uk and we will be pleased to add them to the website.A special mention goes to our artist and cartoonist, Dave Hassell for providing the "Clown and Jester" picture above.
   
Cow

Farmer Jones

 

Farmer Jones wanted to buy his neighbour's cow, but on enquiring the price he was shocked to learn it was £100.

"What", he protested, "here I am, your friend and neighbour, and you ask a price like that?"

"I'll tell you what". replied the other farmer, "seeing you are my neighbour I'll give you a 20% discount."

Now Farmer Jones was not much of a scholar and he wasn't quite sure what this meant so he said "I'll think about it,"

He went off down the road and was still trying to figure it out when he saw the local schoolmistress coming towards him on her bicycle. He beckoned her to stop and said "Now tell me, Miss Pugh, if I were to offer you £100 less 20% discount, what would you take off?"

Miss Pugh thought for a moment and then declared "Everything, except my ear-rings."

 

J.S.

Dai & Blodwyn

 

Dai & Blodwyn in the shower room, Dai in the shower cubicle,  and blodwyn just getting herself wiped down, when the door bell rings, Dai shouts out,"'get the door Blod been as you've just about finished," Blodwyn wrapped the towel around herself and went downstairs to answer the door, when she opened the door, stood in the porch was their neighbour Gareth, Gareth took one hard look at blodwyn and said " Good evening blodwyn I'm not used to seeing you like this, but I'll tell ew what, if you drop that towel for five seconds I'll give you £200, Blodwyn thought about this proposition and said to herself, aw bugger it, what harm can dropping this towel for a few seconds do?
On making that decision she dropped her towel, and Gareth true to his word stared hard for a few seconds, and then gave Blodwyn £200, and off home he went with a smile on his face, Blodwyn re-wrapped herself and went back upstairs to the shower room, hearing her come in Dai shouted "who was that luv?"  Blod replied "it was only our nextdoor neighbour Gareth," to which Dai replied " did he say anything about the £200 he owes me?"

 

D.H.

andrew and  brian ferry

Andrew on tour with Brian Ferry

elvis

Sweet Tea

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.
 
The Doctor asks: "What happened?"
 
The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

The Doctor says: "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."
 
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.


The woman says: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me! How does the tea do that?"


The Doctor says: "The tea does bugger all, it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick?

 

R.J.